When my wife and I had started our pre-marriage consoling, we learned in it the hierarchy of the spiritual family, and in that, we found that it would be very easy for a man to be domineering in a marriage. We have all seen it. But of course that isn’t the way God intended it to be, and I wholeheartedly believe it is wrong. But a person, a wife, should know the characteristics of abuse from a spouse, i.e. narcissism.
In that same vein, with the responsibility of a pastor, I can see how a man of God could let his responsibilities lead him to be a dictator type pastor. Which again, I feel is wrong. But the office of any authority is subject to that same temptation of becoming a dictator or very controlling. It’s a lot of power that only certain people can maintain without becoming domineering. But the ones that do get authoritarian dictator syndrome, they are in a very dangerous place, and recognizing those traits and control tactics are vital to saving yourself from a lot of pain and trouble.
It doesn’t come natural to most to be able to see those traits. Naivety is a big problem when it comes to recognizing a narcissist. I tend to be very naive when it comes to meeting new people. I ignorantly give them the benefit of the doubt and can’t immediately recognize when a contrary spirit walks in the room. But before long, I notice the subtlety of the enemy and their dirty spirit comes out, and then we have people like my dad, and Joy, and some pastors I’ve had. Customers we’ve had that have just out of nowhere said some off the wall put down and we are left standing there thinking “where in the world did that come from?” So we have learned to recognize those things a lot quicker. The enemy isn’t always screamingly obvious. He can literally transform himself into an angel of light.
When Joy had came in, I thought she was pretty nice. She was funny, and a little cussy, but a lot of people do that. Which I still don’t get how people go around cussing in public at businesses, but whatever. As soon as she left, Leah recognized the spirit in her and told me. Then low and behold the next day that ugly serpent came flying in my shop.
My grandma and grandpa died right before the shut down, my grandma had went in for hip surgery and she died in post op and my grandpa died 3 days later buying flowers for her funeral, so they ended up having a joined funeral, to which I was supposed to go to. Well, when my dad told me that Pawpaw had died, I figured everyone knew before me, because I wasn’t really included in much of their lives, and I prematurely posted on facebook to pray for my family because my Pawpaw had just died. Well my dad called me and yelled at me, typical. But after that he started texting me and putting me down. I’ve spent a lot of years identifying his traits and methods of control, and I wouldn’t let him do it. So every text he sent me, I sent him a Bible very back. Eventually he gave up. But it wasn’t before he had literally disowned me and cursed me with his witchcraft that he doesn’t really know what he’s doing with.
Then you cut them off. You have to. Even when they try and try to come back in your life for no reason, you have to ignore them. No matter how hard it is not to fire back to their fiery lie darts, you don’t.
Once you get those people away, you will notice a change in everything. But the more you come to the knowledge of identifying and exposing these spirits, the quicker they manifest. It won’t take long before you will walk up to anyone and know instantly. It’s pretty amazing.
I don’t know what makes people think they are in control. I don’t know what makes them think they can control another person that isn’t a child. It really freaks me out. I’ve seen pastors do it to saints. I am not talking about Apostolic only, I am talking about all kinds. I’ve seen teachers do it, I’ve seen parents and even children do it. It is no respecter of persons. I would say its 100% a pride issue, and we know that permeates all boundaries. I hope and pray if you find yourself in the presence of a narcissist that you can begin to learn and be aware of dangerous behavior.